I feel really sad right now, like it’s just hitting me how alone I am here and I just really need some kind of attention from an irl human and I honestly just want someone to hold me right now so I don’t feel this alone and crappy and sad. I just feel really homesick I guess, like I’ve got that really horrible nervous butterfly feeling in my stomach and I miss everything about home, I miss my cats and my family and being able to see my friends if I want to and being able to have sex if I want to and watching tv in the evenings and smoking with my brother and eating loads of crappy food and being able to shave shave normally in a bathtub instead of awkwardly doing it standing up in a shower cubicle, ugh. 

I’m going to read until I’m sleepy and then I’m going to go to bed and hopefully I’ll feel less crap in the morning because atleast tomorrow when we go out for the day I’m in the same group as the canadian girl so I can have an actual conversation without feeling like a really shitty person for forcing people to speak a different language in their own country.